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WANTED: Liposuction. My doctor says I'm too fat.

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I have wished for many things in my life... May. 22nd, 2012 @ 07:27 pm
[info]island_scribe
... this wasn't one of them.

The following was posted to our local Freecycle list:

If you have ever wished you knew a family who would benefit from being blessed
with a vehicle in good working order which would help them move their lives
forward through self employment, we may be that family that you consider
blessing. Please contact me if you are interested in learning more.
I have blessed others in the past with vehicles and now it is me who needs the
blessing. We have sound references. Will give our phone number upon request.
Thank you very much for considering my family.



'Cause everyone is just going to rush to dig out stuff for you on short notice... May. 3rd, 2012 @ 07:10 am
[info]island_scribe
This one showed up on our freecycle list Tuesday - note the pick-up date. What happened to this person is unfortunate but Freecycle is not a charity. Therefore, the message didn't make it to the membership because it was incorrectly formatted, plus we don't allow blanket posts or sob stories or charitable appeals. It was returned to the poster for editing to conform to the group guidelines and has not yet re-appeared.

HELP ! FAMILY LOST EVERYTHING IN A HOUSE FIRE !!!
Hello & Happy May 1st everyone! I am a mother of three children, ( 2 boys
- 10 & 6 and a 4 yr. old girl ) we lost absolutely everything we owned a
week after last Christmas. Being on a very fixed income I did not have
renter's insurance. On a lighter note, we have finally found an affordable
home for our family. We don't have anything to move into our new place
though. If you have any home furnishing, appliance, etc. that you do not
want or wouldn't mind donating to us we would be greatly appreciative! We
need absolutely everything; none of us have beds nor bedding, couch or
anything to sit on, kitchen table, dressers, kitchen utensils/appliances,
T.V., (not that this is a necessity) etc.. My number is 555-555-5555,
please text me at this number as I don't have a land-line yet and my cell
costs an arm and a leg. If you can't text just email me and I wll get right
back to you. I do not drive, but will have access to a truck on Wednesday,
May 2nd. Thanks everyone for your time.


Apr. 27th, 2012 @ 04:04 pm
[info]duchess_julia
This guy's e-mail address is lovemaker_[numbers]@[whatever].com. Why I am telling you this will soon be clear.

Looking for a good bed. I like Queen size good-great Quality. Can hold up to weight? I don't drive. Matt and Box would be great Thanks!

1) He wants a good or GREAT quality bed, the kind people just can't wait to get rid of!
2) He tells us he doesn't drive. In other words, deliver to him this great bed.
3) I don't think he's talking about the kind of weight from just laying there, not when he proclaims himself to be a love-maker in his e-mail address.

I suppose they use clowns too. Apr. 17th, 2012 @ 07:40 pm
[info]mrpissypuppy
WANTED: Ventriloquist Dummy (male)

My ministry is in need of a full size male ventriloquist dummy.ASAP!!! (By full size I mean the kind with a post connected to its head, not a string poking out its neck.) Thanks and God Bless.

Free Mood:: scaredscared

I am a part of your group now give me things I can sell Apr. 10th, 2012 @ 02:59 pm
[info]bammba_m
From: email address that seems to be a jeweler's business
Offer: Box
large cardboard box in good condition for xmas tree storage


From: same person, 30 seconds later
Wanted: jewelry
looking for broken or unwanted jewelry items for craft project.


A quick google search brings up this person's etsy page. A very clear minimal effort for the obligatory offer post followed by asking people to give you things for your shop. Awesome.

It's cool that you're turning unwanted things into wanted items for profit. That's totally awesome, in fact. But you could be less obvious about it.
Other entries
» This one is purely for giggles
OFFER: 50 ft internet cord

clip broken on one side response with date and time of pick up



I could not help but think, "so *there's* where the internet is!! It's in this cord!! Whew. I thought I'd lost it.
» Gimmie Gadgets!
First came this:

From: robertgk9
Subject: WANTED: ipod
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:17:46 AM

any old ipod will be just great!

and I thought "Yeah, you keep dreaming, friend."

But then half an hour later:


From: robertgk9
Subject: WANTED: any old at&t cell-phones
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:58:43 AM

must have texting keyboard

and I thought "Why not just ask for an iPhone?! Or a pony..."
» Pretty little lists, all in a row...

=( Lists. )

*2 lists right in a row.  I made them actual lists for reading purposes.  Spelling mistakes are their own.  And even though they had different names listed, I keep feeling like they're the same person...*


» There are no words for this...

'WANTED: Grand Piano
I am a passionate Pianist and unfortunately I only have a little Keyboard from which I can play at home and have very little access to
any acoustic Pianos. I would be forever grateful if anyone decided to put up a Grand Piano!'

I've seen some of the pianos that come up on freecycle. Let's just say, for the most part, if I piano is good enough to be sold, it *will* be. And a *grand* piano?! Not a standard upright, or even a baby grand..

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


» Wanted: Hot Tub
Wanted: Hot Tub
Posted by: "DumbAss" DumbAss DumbAss
Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:07 pm (PST)



Hot tub wanted in working condition. Please

======================================================

I laughed hysterically when I saw this today in my email.
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